Blah.
Stein.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Running...
...yet standing still
Life has provided for me plentiful opportunities to be happy. I usually choose to look at the underside of the plate.
I've had lots of chances to be hyper-successful, yet I choose the path that makes me more happy, more gratified- regardless of the cost or consequences.
My work has taken me places I never imagined it would. Yet I loathe it.
My personal life is non-existent, most due to the aforementioned work problem.
I feel like I'm one bad afternoon away from tossing the whole thing in the garbage. In fact I know I am.
I had the chance, a few months ago, to pull out gracefully, to exit stage left, to pursue a new path. But through my selfish actions and arrogant inaction, I rocked the boat far too much for anyone's comfort- now I'm stuck where I am until time ends.
And I'm not happy about it.
Must. Find. Alternatives.
As I continue to slash and burn, crash and turn against all those that are closest to me, please be patient, I'm merely an adolescent. A very dramatic, shallow, broken, terrified kid stuck in the game of the big boys.
Life has provided for me plentiful opportunities to be happy. I usually choose to look at the underside of the plate.
I've had lots of chances to be hyper-successful, yet I choose the path that makes me more happy, more gratified- regardless of the cost or consequences.
My work has taken me places I never imagined it would. Yet I loathe it.
My personal life is non-existent, most due to the aforementioned work problem.
I feel like I'm one bad afternoon away from tossing the whole thing in the garbage. In fact I know I am.
I had the chance, a few months ago, to pull out gracefully, to exit stage left, to pursue a new path. But through my selfish actions and arrogant inaction, I rocked the boat far too much for anyone's comfort- now I'm stuck where I am until time ends.
And I'm not happy about it.
Must. Find. Alternatives.
As I continue to slash and burn, crash and turn against all those that are closest to me, please be patient, I'm merely an adolescent. A very dramatic, shallow, broken, terrified kid stuck in the game of the big boys.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Trimmed
I have shorn the extra growth.
Removed the offending protrusions.
Hacked off the obnoxious stuff.
Performed a toxicectomy.
Lost half the nonsense.
Removed the offending protrusions.
Hacked off the obnoxious stuff.
Performed a toxicectomy.
Lost half the nonsense.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Gasping for Air
Time to write a little bit about why i haven't been writing much.
First and foremost, I'm unbelievably busy and it doesn't look to be ending anytime soon. And even if that happens, I'm talking maybe a few days off in December. But those days are likely to be filled up with preparation for the next wave of chaos.
I've also been trying to spend my little bit of downtime nurturing friendships and making things work better with friends and family. I've reached a point in life where the people around me are more important than my own needs. I've been a very selfish and naughty boy in the past and it has burned me.
I can not apologize enough to the people who I have treated badly, who I have hurt, to those who I have neglected and to those who I owe a debt of some kind.
One of these days I'm going to find new balance and pleasure in life. For now it's just trying to keep my head above water, or at least snagging enough air whenever my head pops up to get me through the rough times.
First and foremost, I'm unbelievably busy and it doesn't look to be ending anytime soon. And even if that happens, I'm talking maybe a few days off in December. But those days are likely to be filled up with preparation for the next wave of chaos.
I've also been trying to spend my little bit of downtime nurturing friendships and making things work better with friends and family. I've reached a point in life where the people around me are more important than my own needs. I've been a very selfish and naughty boy in the past and it has burned me.
I can not apologize enough to the people who I have treated badly, who I have hurt, to those who I have neglected and to those who I owe a debt of some kind.
One of these days I'm going to find new balance and pleasure in life. For now it's just trying to keep my head above water, or at least snagging enough air whenever my head pops up to get me through the rough times.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Contrasts
A couple years ago, I posted about 'Soundtracking'- my word for the act of playing specific music while engaged in activities of various types.
As much as I love this, I love even more the idea of contrasting the soundtrack with what else is going on around me- much like listening to heavy metal while at church, I like to create crazy contrasts.
Recent examples: Mozart while riding motorcycles.
The Jazz Butcher while shopping at WalMart.
Durutti Column while working in the yard.
Love and Rockets while watching "The Hunger"
As much as I love this, I love even more the idea of contrasting the soundtrack with what else is going on around me- much like listening to heavy metal while at church, I like to create crazy contrasts.
Recent examples: Mozart while riding motorcycles.
The Jazz Butcher while shopping at WalMart.
Durutti Column while working in the yard.
Love and Rockets while watching "The Hunger"
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