When I grow up, I want to be a big fat lazy piece of shit douchebag that blames everyone else for my problems and can't take any responsibility for anything I do.
I will call in to work sick as often as possible. I will use the slightest discomfort to drive me into bed, for days at a time, while I chow down on pain pills and make everyone get me stuff.
My world will be about me, and everyone else is in it to serve my own personal drama.
The End.
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