We drive down the canyon and attend a couple of social events. I need to blow off some steam as I prep for work tomorrow. For some reason I'm more apprehensive than usual.
In the morning, I begin the day.
Time to get 'In the Zone' and prep for the day.
I grab some food and sit down to chill. Listening to Brian Wilson and Beach Boys songs all morning as I wander around town.
Stomach tightening and nerves winding up.
We drive back to the venue to finish up the setup.
The band's crew arrives and brings with them the word that I'll be the lighting director for the show this evening. Calling the job a 'designer' would be overly generous, as the setup is very simple with only a handful of options.
Nevertheless, it's a good thing that I'm 'In the Zone'
Soundcheck time approaches. The band has landed. Word comes that Mr. Wilson may not show up for soundcheck.
Cool. Whatever.
I sit back in my chair to wait and suddenly he arrives. Alone. Before the band. Takes a seat onstage and begins noodling around with his piano.
The band sets up, tinkering around and tuning. Brian looks bored and unhappy. The band plays the beginning of "California Girls." This is cool. I'm excited but Brian doesn't sing. Maybe he's waiting? Lost? Crap. Is he going to freak out and leave?
Halfway through the second verse he does it. There it is. The voice. It has aged. He has aged. Needs warming up.
Like the crying clown, the ultimate tortured artist, he's here singing us songs of surf and cars and pretty girls. Giving a bit of himself to make everyone else feel better.
Speaking of the sad jester, I'm a mess. Sobbing uncontrollably, I have to go sit down. Somehow this is touching me deeply. I have no idea why, no idea how. I have no excuse or deflection.
Perhaps it is the idea that I get to be so close to a story that has always seemed so big and so far out of reach. 3 or 4 songs later, soundcheck ends.
We see Brian turn and walk away.
Quite quickly.
He seems distant, tired perhaps. A bit non-communicat1ve and a little grumpy.
He's done.
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