I made a journey yesterday that has been in the back of my mind for over 30 years.
Since childhood, I have had a recurring dream about a wide open desert valley, with a variety of mountains and canyons surrounding.
I credit this returning vision with giving me my passion for the American west and the deserts found there.
As a parallel story, I have been a long time fan of the band U2 and have passionately followed them since they were little babies in the early 1980s. See this blog post for more information.
In November of 1986, a merry band of Irish lads, their manager and a 10 foot tall Dutch photographer ventured out into the California desert to search for inspiration and imagery to accompany their upcoming album, provisionally titled 'The Two Americas' or 'The Desert Songs.' After spending a day shooting photos in a barren field including a handful taken near an interestingly shaped tree, the band decided to name the album 'The Joshua Tree'
I've wanted to visit the site for many years. In my youth, it wasn't practical to find the information to find the tree. As the internet began to rumble into consciousness, information trickled out about the location and the status of the tree as a shrine of sorts. As time has moved on, it has become apparent that much of the information out there is inaccurate- deliberately so.
You see, this place needs to remain a mystery. It takes several sources of location information and a couple of articles that describe the details to deduce the actual location. Many try. Many have failed. Some have perished in the quest to find it.
The tree and the surrounding location seem to fit as the location of my recurring dreams. And I have felt drawn to find it. And to satisfy my curiosity.
My first attempt at a visit was in the winter of 2011- my trip was pushed back by a big snowstorm and an unwilling travel companion. Again in May of 2012 I traveled to Vegas, treasure maps clenched in my fist. My partner was more interested in shopping for cheap plastic trinketry than in allowing me to pursue my special goal. At that time I realized that I was better off making this journey alone rather than being weighed down by the presence of another person. So since then I've been planning to do this alone.
Anyway. I set out of Las Vegas yesterday to drive into the unknown. I drove and drove and drove. The world ends about 20 minutes outside Vegas and doesn't really pick back until... ummm... well, I never found another bastion of civilization in over 200 miles. Through a closed Death Valley (government shutdown) and beyond. I'm not going to give away the location. It's out there if you really want it. Here's the closest thing to a clue I'll give away: This is where the numbers fell off of the clockface.
Truthfully, if you're at all familiar with the pictures on the album cover, you'll be able to identify the spot by the mountainous landscapes around the tree.
I parked the car and began walking in the direction of the mountains. I knew I was close. There were footprints. There was a delicious silence in the air. I spotted a landmark that was unmistakable: a different Joshua Tree, tall and slender with a single branch extended. The top of this guy looks a bit like a rooster perched on a fencepole.
So I walked in this direction.
And then I saw it. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at it yet. So I skirted around the edges and looked at a bunch of the stuff in the surrounding area- fans have left a number of memorials around the site.
And finally, I turned to look at the tree.
Time has not been kind to this old guy. He didn't choose celebrity at the age of over 600, it came to him. And ultimately it killed him. The unique shape and top-heavy proportions of the tree caused one of the main branched to fall off in about 1999 and the rest of the tree toppled over when the right side was too heavy for the structure to support.
It was a bit like looking at a corpse. Lying in repose on the valley floor for all the world to see.
The sight was both uplifting and depressing at the same time.
And I couldn't bring myself to touch it. For an hour I circled and looked and tried and eventually I did.
And then I couldn't let go. I sat on it. I laid on it. I talked to it. I found all the places on the tree that were memorable in the photos of nearly 30 years ago. I found all the scars and all the bruises that have been left here. I touched the arms, the torso, the hands, the head and the heart of the tree.
Fans have left behind a suitcase (packing a suitcase for a place that none of us has been) full of mementos, pictures, poetry, signed beer bottles, etc. There are actual band autographs on some of these items. And the guestbook(s) are full of beautiful, heartfelt writings from an international group of people who have, in most cases, only one thing in common.
Things I can't properly articulate here: The icy cold stone that I found. The feeling of terror and exhilaration I felt when a bunch of USAF fighters flew directly overhead as I was listening to 'Bullet the Blue Sky'
I did find that this is the desert plain I have been dreaming about since childhood.
I sang some songs.
I dreamed out loud.
I discovered a few things about myself.
I discovered a few things about the world.
And after a couple of hours, it was time to say goodbye. I circled the site a couple more times and then the tree said goodbye to me.
Is this goodbye forever? I doubt it. I'll be back.
