Breeding

Well, I'm a jackass sometimes.
I can admit that.
My opinions occasionally come flying out without regard for the potential offense that can be taken.

So I'm gonna say it: I'm sorry if I offend you. This is directed at a very select few people, none of whom are likely to be reading this anyway.
I'm just venting.

I like kids. I like my kids.
Having little people around is very enjoyable to me.
My concern with the way things go down often is the ridiculous parent-child ratio that is often established. Simply put: some people have too many kids.
I'm not going to base my opinion on the concept that the world is being overpopulated- I feel that this argument has some merit, but at this time my complaint is not that particular complaint.

My problem is that by having a grundle of kids you are depriving your kids the amount of attention and resources that it takes to raise them properly. Not that it isn't possible for large families to be functional and for people growing up in large families to be perfectly normal. I just see, over and over, that large families leave kids needing more. And you're going to be poorer than if you had less kids. It's simple economics. A family of 8 takes a whole lot more food, water, clothing than a family of 5. A baked potato isn't dinner. Don't be like my parents and never have money to take the family out for dinner. Well, Dee's 29 cent hamburgers don't count. Especially when you only buy 8.

In honor of one or more friend, family, acquaintance, or other citizen of the world, I present:
My chart of various family sizes and the type of vehicle they need to drive.
1 child: One. Drive a car
2 kids: Some. Car.
3: A few. Car again.
4: A Pack. Minivan or SUV
5: A Brood. Minivan.
6: Flock. SUV.
7: Gaggle. Minivan/SUV.
8: Oodles. Maxivan.
9: Herd. Large SUV.
10: Bundle. Van/Lg. SUV.
11: Skads. Stay home.
12: Heap. 2 SUV or a 15 passenger van.
13: Slew. 2 SUV or a Motorhome.
14+: Metric Shitload. Travel around in a wagontrain.

it's comedy, people. Please at least smile.

Back to the seriousity.

Many of my friends and myself have similarities in how we live, how we think, how we intend to be for the remainder of this and all future lives.
This includes our theories on child-rearing and even the number of kids that is an ideal number.
We all think that 2 is best. That's one per parent. Or one for each arm if it works out that way.
The thing is, we nearly all have (or will have soon) three. Most of the thirds (in fact all of them that I can think of) have been surprises. Not that they are unwelcome, but they haven't exactly been planned. It's cool.
The three kids thing is almost certainly the universe's way of tempering the chaotic (wink wink) nature of the male members of these relationships. Kind of a smack upside the head that this is much bigger than indulging the whims and urges of the artistes I hang out with. And a warning to the ladies that if they don't calm the boys down, they are gonna have a whole slew of little ones rolling around town in a fleet of SUVs.

STOP IT!

I'm getting pretty sick and tired of my friends and family hacking themselves.
Now, I know the world is a cruel place. And I know that health problems can drive a person into despair. Addiction and neurosis can drive people over the edge.
But for hell's sake: think about us back here. We don't want to have to clean up your mess. We don't want to be the ones to stumble on you. We don't need to be stuck with the guilt and the feeling of failure.
Because I'm sure that you don't mean to throw that stuff at us.

Three times in the last 6 months I've had to mop up (figuratively) this mess. And it's getting old.
Danny, I hardly knew you- you were my much older cousin, a tanned specimen of 1970s fashion the last time we hung out. I don't know what your life path was, you lived far away and we only ever spoke at funerals and the rarest of family functions. I have no idea what went wrong. And I feel guilt for that.
James, I'm mad at you. You broke the deal, it was your idea that I should have kids and raise them up. It was you that planted the seed in my mind that I could dream up a life bigger than my dealt cards indicated. You painted the picture of the multi-generational Wallaparties, with grandparents and great-grandparents bouncing babies on their knee and telling stories of the great "King and I" adventures of 1987. We were planning that stuff together, but you were secretly withdrawing and planning your own endgame.
Robert. This one's pretty recent. I'm not prepared to play 'Mother Hen' to my co-workers in issues like this- that is way way WAY out of my job description. You managed to survive cancer twice. In a way, you were living on borrowed time. For 15 years. I'm glad that you were able to see your kids grow up. They seem to be happy and healthy, we'll look after them. In a way it's not fair that in kicking your disease you hooked up with pills. But you had a strange ability to kick the addiction too. Was the current round of sick too much for you? Did you fear the addiction coming back? I'm glad I was able to see you just before you wandered off into the mountains. They said your frozen face had a smile on it. When I wished you a happy new year I meant it. If this makes you happier, I guess I'm glad for you. But I'm feeling overwhelmed by the residual issues. Did I do anything to make you feel like you didn't need to hang around? I find joy, as I'm sure you would, in the irony that they had to thaw you for the autopsy and now they have to thaw the ground to bury you. I'm sure you'd say it's all a big waste of hot air.

So I've had the perfect trio of self-destructive acquaintances this year: Family, Friend and Work.

And it sucks hard.

Keep It Up

Gotta keep posting.
No gaps in posting frequency.
Need to entertain the audience: ladies, the socially dysfunctional, the deadbeats, stalkers and groupies.
Strangely, this is an interesting parallel to my life currently.

Feeling like you are required to do something is a foreign thing to me. It's a bit uncomfortable, like a new ball-gag that hasn't been broken in yet.

Come on people, laugh. You know I'm kidding, right? Right?

Anyone have anything to say? Is it just me in here? That sounds a bit masturbatory...

First

So I've got a first post o' the year.

I'm not going to call it resolutions, but I'm guessing that is how it will appear.

2011- what I'm planning to do.

Hike the Y- 52 times. Once a week (average) Of course, because of schedule and weather I may not get up every week. But I'll make up for it in double weeks. 2 years ago I was able to get up there 4 times a week for a short strech of time. I'm going to do this as training for...

...a bunch more 11,000 foot peaks. Timp, Lone Peak, Twin Peaks, Pfeifferhorn, Red Baldy

I'm going to make some huge changes this year in my work habits. Beginning almost immediately and packing a pretty severe punch.

I still have my stuff from last year to do this year. Stupid non-injured knee.

Which reminds me: I'm going to get this foul thing fixed this year. Either that or I'm going to cut it off with a dull, rusty saw.

Mending the bad relationships and growing the good ones.

Happy New Year