Well, I'm a jackass sometimes.
I can admit that.
My opinions occasionally come flying out without regard for the potential offense that can be taken.
So I'm gonna say it: I'm sorry if I offend you. This is directed at a very select few people, none of whom are likely to be reading this anyway.
I'm just venting.
I like kids. I like my kids.
Having little people around is very enjoyable to me.
My concern with the way things go down often is the ridiculous parent-child ratio that is often established. Simply put: some people have too many kids.
I'm not going to base my opinion on the concept that the world is being overpopulated- I feel that this argument has some merit, but at this time my complaint is not that particular complaint.
My problem is that by having a grundle of kids you are depriving your kids the amount of attention and resources that it takes to raise them properly. Not that it isn't possible for large families to be functional and for people growing up in large families to be perfectly normal. I just see, over and over, that large families leave kids needing more. And you're going to be poorer than if you had less kids. It's simple economics. A family of 8 takes a whole lot more food, water, clothing than a family of 5. A baked potato isn't dinner. Don't be like my parents and never have money to take the family out for dinner. Well, Dee's 29 cent hamburgers don't count. Especially when you only buy 8.
In honor of one or more friend, family, acquaintance, or other citizen of the world, I present:
My chart of various family sizes and the type of vehicle they need to drive.
1 child: One. Drive a car
2 kids: Some. Car.
3: A few. Car again.
4: A Pack. Minivan or SUV
5: A Brood. Minivan.
6: Flock. SUV.
7: Gaggle. Minivan/SUV.
8: Oodles. Maxivan.
9: Herd. Large SUV.
10: Bundle. Van/Lg. SUV.
11: Skads. Stay home.
12: Heap. 2 SUV or a 15 passenger van.
13: Slew. 2 SUV or a Motorhome.
14+: Metric Shitload. Travel around in a wagontrain.
it's comedy, people. Please at least smile.
Back to the seriousity.
Many of my friends and myself have similarities in how we live, how we think, how we intend to be for the remainder of this and all future lives.
This includes our theories on child-rearing and even the number of kids that is an ideal number.
We all think that 2 is best. That's one per parent. Or one for each arm if it works out that way.
The thing is, we nearly all have (or will have soon) three. Most of the thirds (in fact all of them that I can think of) have been surprises. Not that they are unwelcome, but they haven't exactly been planned. It's cool.
The three kids thing is almost certainly the universe's way of tempering the chaotic (wink wink) nature of the male members of these relationships. Kind of a smack upside the head that this is much bigger than indulging the whims and urges of the artistes I hang out with. And a warning to the ladies that if they don't calm the boys down, they are gonna have a whole slew of little ones rolling around town in a fleet of SUVs.
2 comments:
I have a hard enough time paying proper attention to my 3 so I can't imagine adding another right now. Maybe four or five would be okay if they were spread out by several years, but call me selfish, I want to finish up with this small children portion of my life. I'm jealous that you are so close to done!!!
Occasionally here in No. California (where people think having dogs instead of children makes them good parents), I will occasionally get someone commenting on my brood of 3 children. They always phrase it in some horrible backhanded compliment like, "Wow 3 kids! You're brave!" Which is really their nice way of saying, "Wow 3 kids! You must be crazy!" I'll usually reply, "Nah, it's easy. They're really good kids." Or, I'll say, "That's nothing. I grew up in a house with 7 kids." At which point- I enjoy watching their head explode.
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