Thursday, January 7, 2010

Punctuation Storm


OK people, it's not that hard.
Adding an S to the end of a word does NOT NOT NOT automatically mean you add an apostrophe to the word also.

It makes me physically ill to see these little buggers misused. I can't patronize a business that has bad apostrophication on any printed material, online presence or signage. And I've been known to go rogue vandal on blatant misuse. Now you know the real reason I carry around a Sharpie™. Perhaps I could start packing around a bottle of Wite-Out™.


The three purposes of a Fapostrophe:
  1. to form possessives of nouns
  2. to show the omission of letters
  3. to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters (this is more typographical than grammatical, and rarely used)
Notice it doesn't say "to add an S to any damn word you want."

Possessives: John's t-shirt. Katherine's breakfast. Waldorf's salad. Richard's car.
Think of it this way: "Whose (not who's) car?"
Ommision of letters: does not = don't. can not = can't. 1969 = '69

My own grammatical sin is to use an apostrophe rather than a quotation mark. So shoot me-I'm not afraid of dying.... Oh yeah- I like to use every punctuation mark known to man (and woman) at least once per paragraph! And I make up words. Can you even believe the nerve? At least I don't see an S and immediately tack on a highly placed comma.

It's (<--- see how correct I am?) really simple.
That reminds me:
It's and its are different.
Your, You're. know the difference?
There, Their, They're. Still with me?

Jiminy Christmas. It really is difficult to communicate with people that do not even comprehend the most basic elements of the language they purport to speak.



What can I say to that? What the hell is a PK? And don't you think that "Emo's" have enough to worry about?
At least they got Loud Mouth Women, Effeminate Men and High Fullutent Sophisticated Swine right.

2 comments:

A Few Tacos Shy... said...

I am offended that the druggies do not get an apostrophe. They deserve one too.

Tony said...

I'm there with you, my brother. It's scourge on our society. I'm also against the over-use of commas.